The Epitome of Manliness
by Ferro Facade
Summary: Dekarangers What is the Epitome of Manliness? Is it the ability to peek on someone daily? Is it how to beat everyone up w/ no exceptions? Or is it how true love conquers all? And a mysterious being shall come forth to judge the Dekaranger's manliness?


**Disclaimer:** I do not own Tokusou Sentai Dekarangers and the SEGA Franchise, but by Toei and SEGA respectively.

**  
Warning:** Mature content.

**  
**_The year 2000._

_He went out with a bang. Literally._

_He saved his console's corporation's Japanese headquarters by stopping, then riding a missile to space._

_His last words echoed in space despite the lack of air there. He commanded all to do one thing._

"_Sega Sataan shiro…. Sega Sataan shiro…"_

_Do the Sega Saturn… do the Sega Saturn…_

_And then the night brightened for a brief while._

_Yes, he would live in people's hearts forever._

_**If**__ he had died._

**  
The Epitome of Manliness**

_Chapter One_

**  
**Umeko relaxed in her tub, just like how she enjoyed it a few hours ago. She always took a bubble bath before and after a hard day's work.

She was lucky this time. Umeko's bubble bath wasn't interrupted by an Alienizer attack.

"I guess today's a fine day for me, Umeyo, Umenosuke, Umegoro."

Someone knocked at the bathroom's door.

"Umeko! You there?" Sen called out.

"Haii! And don't even think that I'll let you in just because you're my boyfriend!"

Sen chuckled. "I just want to ask you if we can go out after you're done there."

Out of nowhere, Akaza Banban appeared and placed his right arm on Sen's shoulders.

"Sen-chan!" Ban exclaimed. "I hope you don't forget about this one, too!"

"Yeah, right."

"Anyway," the spiky haired policeman took out a small blue box from his pocket and gave it to Sen. "Maybe you'll need this later."

"What's in it?"

"I was reserving it for Mari, but since it'll be you who'll be popping the question soon…"

"I dunno…" Sen thought. "I think this isn't the right time to ask-"

"Shhh!" Ban interrupted. "Pipe down! This box is supposed to be a surprise."

"You never told me it was a surprise, in the first place."

"Sen-chan I'm coming out!" Umeko shout.

The two policemen panicked after they heard that Umeko was done in here bubble bath. Just as the door opened, Sen accidentally drops the small blue box Ban had handed over to him.

"Ara? What's this?" Umeko, covered only by her bathrobe, slowly tried to reach for the box.

Just as Umeko was about to grab the box, a panicking Sen suddenly jumps to grab it first. Unfortunately, what Sen grabbed wasn't the box but the tie that holds Umeko's bathrobe.

Umeko froze. The pink bathrobe suddenly fell off the perky policewoman.

"U-Umeko, I-"

"Kyaaaa!" Umeko screamed as she dropped to her knees and grabbed her pink bathrobe to cover herself.

Sen, panicking, also tried to grab the bathrobe to cover his girlfriend. But the floor was damp from the water dripping from Umeko's hair. He slips and topples on Umeko.

Just in time, Sen managed to brace his fall on Umeko with his right hand.

"Eh?" Umeko looked at where Sen's hand was.

Sen's hand felt something squishy. It felt soft and damp at the same time. He gulped, slowly opened his eyes and saw his hand place on Umeko's breast.

_It's soft-_

Umeko slaps him in the face hard and screams in embarrassment.

Behind a corner, Ban saw what happened between Umeko and Sen. His face was priceless. His eyes widened and jaw nearly dropped to the floor.

"I'm outta here!" Ban suddenly pops out of his cover and runs for it. But just before her could run to the corner, Hoji raised his foot and tripped Ban.

"And I thought I was the one who needed to be behind bars because of sexual harassment." Hoji folded both his arms across his chest as he walked up to Ban.

"Aibo, I do not have anything to do with this! I swear upon Mari's and Maira-san's name!

"Sempai!" Tetsu called out as he ran towards Ban. "Have you seen Swan- Ah, Umeko! Why don't you have any clothes on? And Sen-chan! What are you doing with Umeko?"

"Kyaaa! Hentai!" Umeko screamed as she was bitch-slapping Sen.

"Umeko- Ow! I'm- Ouch! Sorry- Oof!" the battered Sen was no match to Umeko who thought she was getting molested by the person she loves the most.

"Unbelievable…" Hoji rolled his eyes. "This can't get any worse."

Out of the corner came a very angry-looking Marika Reimon. An aura of distress was leaking off the ESPer. Everyone felt the aura that Jasmine was leaking off.

"Jasmine!" Umeko suddenly stands up, covering herself with the bathrobe and runs over to Jasmine's side.

"Minna… What are you doing with Umeko?" Jasmine asked with a very gruff tone.

"Ah, Jasmine! You seem so grumpy today." Tetsu asked as he smiled at Jasmine.

"Aibo," Ban tapped Hoji's shoulder. "What day is it today?"

"Tuesday."

Ban looked at Hoji in horror.

"Oh shi-"

**  
One Hour later…**

"This sucks." Ban slowly melted away as the four badly beaten policemen got thrown into jail in DekaBase.

"Kowaii… Jasmine wa kowaii…" Sen mumbled as he trembled over the corner of the dark room.

"Perfect..." Hoji sarcastically whispers to himself as he rubs his swelling left cheek.

"Wow! Aibo, she left a hand print on your face!"

"Shut up. And I'm not your partner."

"What did I do?" Tetsu squealed.

"You were there and you saw. No exceptions."

"I wasn't even looking!"

"Then why did you ask why Umeko was naked?" Hoji glared at Tetsu.

"I-I have no idea!"

"Oh, bosh." Ban snickered. "You liked it, didn't you?"

"I was supposed to, Sempai?"

"Oh well… Looks like we'll be stuck here for the rest of the day"

"Yeah, and we'll be safe from Jasmine for now."

"That Scorpion Death Lock of hers hurt a lot."

"I think my neck nearly broke from that German Suplex."

"How about you, Sen? Whacha think?"

Sen was silent.

"I think he got traumatized, sempai."

"From the knee shot to his groin, Rack and Back Breaker that he took?"

Everyone looked at Sen at the corner. His horror could be seen in his face, his body quivered from the damage Jasmine dealt.

"Yeah." The three nodded.

Out of the corner came Jasmine accompanied by a guard. The young ESPer seemed surprised to see her coworkers behind bars.

"Speak of the devil." Hoji rolled his eyes and turned away from Jasmine who was at the other side.

"Ara? Did I really throw them inside there?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Minna," Jasmine bowed in embarrassment. "I'm so sorry for what happened. I just felt so bad and irrational today."

Everyone sighed.

"I'll let you out now. But promise me you'll say sorry to Umeko, okay?"

"I doubt Sen-chan's getting one." Ban snickered.

"Same here." Hoji agreed.

"Ah, aibo! You agreed with me!"

"I'm not your partner, alright?"

Jasmine sighed. "Will all of you promise to say sorry to Umeko?"

"We promise." The three agreed in chorus.

"Sen-chan? Do you promise to-?" Jasmine was interrupted by Sen shrieking in horror as he heard Jasmine calling him.

"I-IT WASN'T MY FAULT!" Sen screamed in horror.

The three men behind bars face palmed while Jasmine sighed in unison with the men. She signals the guard to open the door for the four to leave. Just before the three Dekarangers went out of the cell, they huddled and thought of how to get the traumatized Sen out of the cell.

"I suggest we drag him outside." Ban whispered to his companions.

"Yeah," "I'll grab him from behind, sempai grabs both his arms and Hoji will grab his legs."

"Damn, we really think alike, Kouhai."

"Unbelievable." Hoji rolled his eyes. "Anyway, at the count of three, we grab him and get out."

"THREE!" the three men run to the traumatized Sen and grab him.

**  
**Umeko sobbed while she lay on her soft bed.

"Sen-chan no baka…" She mumbled repeatedly as she grabbed her pillow and squished it against her body.

The door suddenly opens. A badly beaten Jasmine runs in for cover.

"Jasmine!" Umeko sat up to see her badly beaten up friend.

"Umeko, I need your help." Jasmine said as she closed the door and slowly sat to rest.

"Eh?" Umeko tilted her head.

"You need to stop Sen-chan. He's running amok inside DekaBase."

"Nani?!"

"Ban, Hoji and Tetsu are in bad shape. They're currently in the infirmary."

"But why are so badly beaten up? I previously saw you take everyone on and won."

"It was the effect of my post-menstrual syndrome, dummy." Jasmine blushed in embarrassment.

"I-I didn't know that Jasmine-"

"Umeko," Jasmine panted as she crawled to Umeko's side. "I need to you to kiss him."

"N-Nani?! Why should I kiss him?"

"It is the only way to stop him."

"But why? Why? Why?"

"Because he's a man. Real men calm down and become civilized when they get kissed by a girl."

"How so?"

"I don't know." Jasmine shrugged. "But we should give it a shot."

"Where did you learn that from?"

"From a book."

"A book?"

Jasmine sighed. Screams f pain and suffering outside echoed enough to enter Umeko's room.

"Umeko, Sen-chan is somewhere within this perimeter."

"W-What should I do?" Umeko was panicking.

"Get dressed and be ready when the moment comes that you can kiss him."

"Where? On the cheek?"

"On his lips."

"Mou…" Umeko slowly melted away from the fact that it'll be their official first kiss.

"I know what you're thinking, Umeko." Jasmine looked concerned. "But this is for the safety of everyone in DekaBase."

"I know… It's just that I'm not ready yet."

Jasmine smiled as she slowly sat up beside Umeko on the bed. Umeko looks at Jasmine's friendly smile.

"I know you can do it, Umeko. You love him, and he loves you."

"Haii!" the bubbly Umeko smiled.

"Now, you better get dressed and-" Jasmine was interrupted by Doggie Kruger through her SP License.

"Jasmine! Umeko! Are you there?"

"Yes, boss. The both of us are in Umeko's room."

"Hurry up and stop Sen-chan! The door here can't take the stress any longer!"

"Haii!" both of the girls stood up and nodded. Jasmine closes the communicator and puts her hand on Umeko's shoulder.

"It's time."

Umeko nodded and smiled. Both of the girls walked up to the door and opened it.

"Let's go, Umeko!"

"Haii!"

Both of them ran, hoping that there's still time to stop the enraged Sen.

**  
**_The present._

_In space, a block of ice that had orbited the planet for nearly two hundred years began atmospheric reentry. The ice melted almost instantly. Its contents crashed in a secluded spot in the mountains._

_In the smoking crater that resulted, a figure in a white judogi arose from the smoke and ruin._

_He had come home at last. He growled._

"_Sega Sataan shiro…"_

**  
To Be Continued…**


End file.
